


Joja Co. Everything Sucks

by TeaTones



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-17 17:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaTones/pseuds/TeaTones
Summary: After a particularly grueling day of work, you found yourself sitting at the small island counter that divided the kitchen area from your living room/bedroom area in your small studio apartment, nursing a vodka coke.You come across a letter that has no address label on it. It's a light blue envelope, with calligraphic black scroll on the back:From Grandpa.For the second time that night, tears began to well up in your eyes. This time, the cogs in your mind were turning. You knew what you had to do.You had to break the cycle.In which life in the city becomes too depressing, farmer Charlie decides to drop everything and move to the family farm with his two cats. Who are these guys exploring your property, and do they know they've been noticed?





	1. Breaking The Cycle

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Stardew Valley fanfic! I've had this idea for a wile and I'm pretty excited to start it!

After a particularly grueling day of work, you found yourself sitting at the small island counter that divided the kitchen area from your living room/bedroom area in your small studio apartment, nursing a vodka coke. The only light illuminating the room was a string of rainbow christmas lights that lined the top of your kitchen cabinets, mixed with the dull orange radiating from the street lamp directly outside your apartment window.

Sometimes sitting in darkness helps alleviate your stress.

You’re at the ripe age of 23 and already you feel like you’ve piqued. You graduated college with an english degree; a fucking english degree-a degree in a language you’ve spoken since you were born.

Writing has always been what put you in your comfort zone, it seemed like the logical path to take. But assuming you would be able to land some job writing articles in newspapers or online was a pipe dream at this point. You couldn't get a job without experience, and nobody wanted to pay an intern. Balancing a job and internship shouldn't have been that difficult, but hell if Joja didn’t have a way of slowly locking you into a mindless desk job working hours that made having even a social life outside of work difficult.

Your fingers traced the condensation collecting on the side of your glass, a cool drop of water collected at the tip of your finger and trailed down its underside till it eventually took refuge in the rim of your flannel shirt. You did it to yourself really, and it was only a drop but it was enough to make your inebriated self begin to cry. So fucking pathetic.

Things were rough right now.

Others certainly had it worse, but years of counselling in high school have taught you that that thought process itself wasn’t healthy. Things could always be worse, but in the same notient that would be the same as discrediting someone who’s happy by saying others are happier.

You knocked back the rest of your drink; after then using your sleeve of your shirt to dab the tears forming in  the corners of your eyes. Passing by the sink on your way to the bathroom, you place the glass in the wash bucket and push through the door.

You squint your eyes as you flip on the lights in the bathroom. The mirror is directly in front of you and you find yourself glaring at your own reflection.

Short. You’re fucking short. You hate it and you’re fucking short. You had mousy brown hair that was just starting to reach your shoulders, you’ve been meaning to get it cut for a while but haven't been able to bring yourself to do it. It was soft, thick, curly and sometimes you’d tie it in a small nubby ponytail. Half the time it looked nice, the other half had you struggling to wrap up the shorter strands and just gave up.

Your skin was almost ghost white and sickley. You spend most of your time locked up in an office cubicle crunching numbers and filling out spreadsheets in excel; and the rest of your time out of the office was either early in the early morning or late at night. Sunlight would be nice, maybe that’s why you’re so miserable.

Your face is rounded and nose like a small button. The tiniest, pailest freckles sparsely dotted the bridge of your nose; and the faintest line of hair made its presence known on your upper lip. And all together your figure was on the plumper side, not drastically so, but just enough to make sence for someone working an office job with minimal movement.

You turn the faucet on and go through the motions of brushing your teeth and washing your face. You mull over the idea of doing a face mask tonight, but are just so mentally drained that you don’t want to deal with that right now.

You pull the pajamas you wore last night off the bathroom floor, consisting of an extra large _‘The world is flat’_ shirt you got for free from a thrift shop down the street that was cycling out old cloths for the year. It’s such a mess of green and blue tie-dye, bold orange text with a purple drop shadow, and wrapped together with an art-deco globe decal on the back. Truly horrific. You understood why it was free, and could not feel more blessed to be the owner of something so abhorrent.

That coupled with a clean pair of frog patterned boxer shorts and you were ready for bed. As you left the bathroom, you flicked the light off and closed the door behind you. When you made your way around the island counter you locked eyes with one of your two cats who was perched precariously on a stack of loose papers on a top shelf above your bed.

As he jumped off to greet you, he knocked the entire stack of papers off and in that one moment you experienced all seven stages of grief and reached acceptance. What once was an adequately clean space was now a storm of old papers and letters. He didn't even acknowledge what he’d done, just sauntered on over to you and let out the softest chirp ever as he rubbed his big dumb face on your leg.

“Dipper, you are so lucky I love you, you obnoxious tub of lard.” You sweep him up in all his doughy, squishy splendor and gave him a small hug before depositing him on the couch; unintentionally on top of cat number two. She gave an indignant squeak and jumped off the couch, “Sorry Nugget.”

You go on to shuffle all the papers and letters in order; suddenly deciding to sort between loose papers and unopened letters. After a few minutes of this, you come across a letter that has no address label on it. It's a light blue envelope, with calligraphic black scroll on the back:

_From Grandpa_

It seems vaguely familiar, so you tear it open revealing two folded up pieces of paper. One was the deed to his old farm, the other was a letter addressed to you.

_Charlie,_

_If you're reading this, you must be in dire need of a change. The same thing happened to me, long ago. I'd lost sight of what mattered most in life... real connections with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong…_

For the second time that night, tears began to well up in your eyes. This time, the cogs in your mind were turning. You knew what you had to do.

You had to break the cycle.

 

~Joja Co. Everything Sucks~

 

You stepped off the bus clutching in each hand a cat carrier. Dipper is a fully black cat, and Nugget is a tuxedo with white socks and tummy. Both of them are near and dear to you, and though your arms were cramping under their weight you didn't care.

“Hello! You must be Deacon!” your attention was drawn to a redheaded woman with her hair tied back in a ponytail. When you got in contact with the mayor, Lewis, he said she would meet him at the bus stop and bring him to the farm. Honestly you were a bundle of nerves, this was by far the rashest of decisions you have ever made in your life.

“I’m Robin, the local carpenter. Mayor Lewis sent me here to fetch you and show you the way to your new home. He’s there right now, tidying things up for your arrival.” She looked to your cat carriers and eyes lit up, “Oh what do we have here?” she beamed. You relaxed slightly, always up for talking about your tiney friends!

“This little lady is Nugget,” You raised the the light blue carrier to show her off, “And this boy is Dipper,” You kind of sway his crate, this one lavender in color, as he’s kind of a big boy. Not necessarily fat, just big. A big, big boy, “They’re my little ones, but still kind of heavy so let’s get going.” you give a small polite smile to Robin.

“Oh! Yeah I bet, let me carry one for you, it's a bit of a walk!” She scooped up Dippers carrier from you, to which you were very grateful, “Come on, the farm’s right over here if you’ll follow me!”

She began to lead me down a dirt road which was flanked on each side by a thick row of trees and shrubbery. Birds were sitting in the branches peeping at one another, and a small family of field mice were making an attempt at collecting raspberries from a thick tangle of brambles.

“We don’t get new residents in Stardew, and being a small community as it is, word has already spread of a new farmer.” she looked over at you as she spoke, “It may seem silly, but everyone is really excited. You’re the first new resident in 18 years.” You nodded.

“Also! Your moving truck arrived earlier this morning, so if you need any help unloading I’d be more than happy to help!”

“That's very kind of you, if it wouldn't be too much trouble?”

She smiled and nodded. Up ahead the road opened up into a large clearing. The farm was a mess of weeds, tall grass, bushes, brambles, fallen branches and an assortment of trees and large boulders. It was a hot fucking mess.

Robin seemed to pick up on your distress, “It’s a bit of a fixer upper, between Piere’s convenience store and my shop, we both collected some spare tools for you. Along the back of your house is a tool rack, you’ll find them there.”

I paused for a moment and looked towards her in awa, “That.. That’s very kind of both of you. Thank you.” She only cracked a larger grin.

You both finally came up to your new home. It was definitely a fixer upper, no doubt about it. Pushing down your growing feeling of dread, you finally set Nuggets carrier on the ground, Robin follower suit with Dippers.

“Your grandfather named the farm Teakettler, strange name I know. Since you now own the deed to it, you can also change the name.” I thought about it for a second, remembering his love for cryptids, and the image of a small dog walking backwards while whistling like a tea kettle made you snort back laughter.

“Nah i think i’ll keep it. He was always a wild one, it’d feel wrong to tarnish his legacy by changing the name.”

Who you could only assume to be Mayor Lewis exited your home, “Ahh, the new farmer!” he ascended the porch steps to stand in front of you, “Welcome! I’m Lewis, Mayor of Pelican Town.” He outstretched his hand for a hand shake. Firm and brief, “You know, everyone’s been asking about you. It’s not every day that someone new moves in. It’s quite a big deal!”

You nod, “Yeah, so i’ve been told.” you peer behind him once more to take in your house. There’s a small hole in the porch were a floor board seems to be missing. A small shed was built off its left side, storage fully stocked with firewood. On the right side, the moving truck was parked, it’s driver nowhere to be seen. You were grateful to see two large windows, one on either side of your front door, both doning green shutters both latched into place so they wouldn't knock against the wall when a breeze came by. In front of the door was a new welcome mat featuring a large tomato decal behind the word _‘Welcome’_.

“So you’re moving into your grandfather's old cottage. It’s a good house… Very, uhh, _‘rustic’_.”

Robin snorted, “Rustic? That’s one way to put it..” She looked over at you before continuing, “Crusty might be more apt, though.”

Lewis jaw dropped, “Rude!” he looked almost mortified before directing his attention back to you, “Don’t listen to her, Charlie. She’s just trying to make you dissatisfied so that you buy one of her housing upgrades.”

It was Robins turn to look mortified so you chimed in, “Well she’s not entirely wrong.” You shrug.

Lewis continued, “Anyways… You must be tired from your long journey. If you need any help getting settled in, don't hesitate to ask!” he said while politely smiling.

“I already beat you to the chase Lewis, “ Robin beamed, practically radiating good neighbor vibes, “Leave it to me, we’ll have you all set by the end of the day!”

Lewis nodded approvingly, “Well I’ll leave you two to it.” He clapped you on the back, “Charlie, I’ll see you around town then.”

 

~Joja Co. Everything Sucks~

 

Later that night you were still sorting through boxes, Robin having left a few hours ago after helping you unload furniture and rearrange it in your new home. You were pleased to see a cobblestone fireplace situated on the back wall more towards the right corner. A small iron gate stood across the front, preventing wood from toppling out, as well as warding the cats away from the fire.

Currently Nugget was lounging in front of the crackling fire, laying on her back and exposing her soft white belly to the warmth. Dipper on the other hand was curled up in the center of your bed. What a little punk.

The moving truck left earlier that afternoon once in was unloaded. Things were still a mess but it was only the first day here so that was to be expected.

You had changed into a night shirt, after situating everything into the small bathroom the house had and taking a shower. You have to admit that you were more than a little disappointed to see you had no kitchen area, but according to Robin, Pierre sold hot plates at his store you could use as a stove top for the time being. Not to mention there was a saloon located in the town square that had great food. You could see yourself predominantly eating there in the foreseeable future.

You mused over the idea of raising farm animals, which was something that wasn’t particularly high on your list of things to do. But before you did anything like building a chicken coup, barn or silo, your primary focus was on remodeling your home. It was already almost double the size of your old apartment. It was nicer, and had more than one window. Four and all of which were nice and open located in the front and back of the house.

Along the back wall you set up a series of shelfs which you situated your large assortment of cacti all varying in sizes. Situated between a few sat lucky bamboo stalks, some spireling upwards while others stood straight. You drilled two planters hooks to the wall between two windows. Hanging from them one very large spider plant which started sprouting babies recently. On the other was a rather impressive, large pothos plant. Its hanging vines adorn with medium sized multicolored green and yellow leafs.

Your bed was situated in the far left corner along the back wall were the shelving ended, and to the right of it was a large round blue rug. At the foot of the bed was the door to the bathroom. A small love seat sat in front of the tv to the front right of the room, with a small end table to the left. Attop the end table was a small lamp with rose patterned shade.

You had the small island from your apartment situated more closely to the front door with an espresso maker and trio of cookie jars shaped like mushrooms descending in size. The largest one contained flour, middle contained ground espresso beans, and the smaller contained sugar. A small lavender garden patterned table runner stretched from one end to the other. Beneath the counter was a mini fridge and two stools.

Different style wall clocks spotted the walls here and there, around varying movie and gaming posters. Your gaming systems and games were still packed away somewhere, but you’ll get to them eventually.

It was getting pretty late, and after all the excitement and hard work of moving, you were ready to call it a night.


	2. Big Gay Energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title says it all.

That morning you woke up with a plan in mind. A plan to do something you couldn't do when working in a corporate office, with a dress code so strict it put the one your high school implemented to shame. Today you were going to bleach your hair.

It was light enough that the bleach wouldn't have to sit too long to get your desired outcome with minimal damage. Ever since your teen years, you’d always wanted to bleach it white. Maybe later you’d want to dye it another color. That would be for a later date though. 

One step at a time though.

You stood in front of your bathroom sink, mixing together the hair bleach solution properly and making sure you had a clean towel, damage repair shampoo/conditioner and other leave in products all around the sink for when the time comes to rinse the bleach out. 

The smell was pretty pungent, so all the windows in your house were wide open to let a steady flow of fresh air through. Both Dipper and Nugget have taken offence to the oder, and are currently taking refuge in the opposite corner of the house by the front window. 

You took one last look in the mirror at your natural mousy brown hair. The thick curls will make this a bit complicated, but hell if you weren't determined.

 

~Joja Co. Everything Sucks~

 

The word of the new farmers arrival had spread like wildfire. Quite frankly it was annoying. Last night it was all your mother could talk about during dinner:

_ ‘Sebby, you should meet him! He’s much closer to you, Abby and Sam in age. And-’ she gave you a knowing look, ‘He totally looks like he’d be your type-’ _

_ ‘MOM!’  _

_ Maru looked amused at that statement, Demitrius chose to ignore it. That's the one moment you could say you liked your step father. _

Yeah it felt kind of unfair to decide to hate someone simply because your mother made that comment. But you had to draw the line somewhere, and even if he did turn out to be cute, you still wouldn't like him simply out of spite. Yeah it was immature, but you frankly didn’t care.

You were sitting in front of your computer, diligently working to finish up your current project. The client needed it done by the end of tomorrow, so you still had time; but you just wanted to get it done and move on already. It has been nearly two days of work thus far, and all the changes the client kept asking for were so tiny but requested so frequently that this was beginning to drag out way longer than originally expected. 

The door to your room burst open and in walked Abby, “Sebastian! Why do you never answer your phone you beautiful pain in the ass you!” She marched over to the stool situated in front of your second desktop and plopped herself down in it. Her phone was pulled out of a secret pocket inside her jacket and she started scrolling through it aggressively to find something. 

You sigh and save your work and put it aside. You focus on her with a glare, “Why Abby, that would be because I’m working.” She paused in her scrolling to level an unimpressed look before continuing,

“Have you seen the new guy yet?” she asked, apparently finally finding what she was looking for and looking back up at you, “No of course not, you haven’t left your home in the past three days. Anyways-” She was cut off by another intruder, this one being Sam. Why not, might as well call it a fucking party.

“Have you seen the new guy?!” he didn’t make it two steps in before throwing himself on the couch, his attention was still focused in you. He had the same dopey smile he usually had, and had no problem making himself comfortable.

“No,” Abby responded for you, “Because our good ol Sebby has been a hermit for the last few days.”

“Excuse me for having an unruly client-”

“Anyways!” Abigail interrupted you, “I took a picture all sneaky guy style while he was talking with my father-you should have seen it! My dad was kinda being a sarcastic ass  _ ‘Oh you’ll find things here are much different that in the city, it’s rather amusing watching a city boy like yourself adjust to country life.’ _ and was laughing and shit. 

The dude strait up responded,  _ ‘Are you finished? Because I’d actually like to make my purchase and get on with my day.’  _ it was freaking legendary.” she snorted, “I’ve never seen my dad get so flustered.” She raised her phone to show you him. Your mother’s statement last night wasn't entirely wrong, he was kind of cute. You were man enough to admit that. But still everything about him was too light for your liking. 

His white, curly hair was tied and pinned out of his face. He was also on the shorter side, and wore a light olive, loose shirt that showed off his collar bones a little, and over it a pair of light grey overalls that were cuffed at his shins.

“So he’s rude.” you stated flatly.

“Ok so maybe a little, but to be fair, dad was kinda rude first.” she defended, “Anyways he seemed really interested in planting flowers which is kinda cute. I love a man who's not afraid to break gender stereotypes.”

Sam piped in from his spot on the couch, “Ahh yes, a man after my own heart.”

“Sam aren’t you allergic to pollen?” you level him a look over your computer.

“Hey, doesn't mean I don’t like flowers!” he raised his hand and started rattling off a list, counting each point with one finger each, “They’re colorful, pretty to look at, smell nice-”

“And make your eyes get puffy and red-” you interrupt.

“And they make excellent gifts,” Sam continued to rattle off points, “Vincent likes them. So does dad too, and that’s saying something because he’s always been more of a macho, man’s man.” He nodded sagely, “Anyways, besides the flower seeds, did he get anything else interesting?”

“Is this all you came here to talk about?”

“He purchased a few coffee bean sprouts, so he plans on having recurring seasonal crops! That and strawberries, along with a couple outdoor hanging planters and garden hooks.” 

“Why does this even matter?” you were really starting to get annoyed at this point. Who cared what the farmer was into? This was all such a waste of your time.

“We’re just curious of what kind of guy he is.” the both piped up at once.

“Anyways,” Abby continued, “We did come here on a mission!” She clapped her hands together, “Later tonight Sam and I are planning on sneaking onto the farm one last time, through the path to Cindersnap forest. One last expedition for old times sake!” She emphasizes this point by lightly punching you in the shoulder.

“ Also we want to scope out the new farmer.” Sam piped in.

“And also trespass on private property-”

“Sebastian! Where is your sense of adventure?!” Sam called from the couch.

“Following the line of not breaking the law-”

“Dude you smoke weed-”

“Completely different!”

Abigail rolled her eyes, “Not really but ok.” she scooched her chair closer, “If you come with us today, we’ll leave you alone for all of tomorrow.” She waggled her eyebrows, truly offering up a deal he couldn't refuse.

You threw your head back in frustration, “Oh my god-Fine! Whatever, let’s break the law!” You threw your hands up in emphasis. 

Sam and Abby both fist bumped, “Ok, sweet! We’ll leave you alone for now to do whatever you’re doing right now-”

“Working-”

“But be ready later tonight, we’ll be back to wrangle your ass out of the house and begin our journey.” Abby grinned. 

 

~Joja Co. Everything Sucks~

 

You had a long day of work, clearing a good portion of the land around your home, then planting and watering new crops. Along the side of the woodshed, you planted three small rooted sprouts for coffee bean bushes. They may not produce anything this spring, but by the next it should have matured enough by then to produce something worth selling. You were pretty excited to go through the diligent process of harvesting, then drying out the beans before packaging and selling them. You were quite a big fan of coffee yourself so you looked forward to testing it out yourself.

Along the front of your porch were a few rows of tulips, the bulb flowers were another plant that would be recurring yearly. During your trip into town, you met a kind older woman named Evelyn who happily gave you pointers on how to take care of them. She was tending to the garden boxes in the town square at the time. 

The other side of the porch steps you planted two rows of jazz seeds, one on either side of the gravel path you layed out leading to the bus stop. On either side of your steps, you dug in the garden hooks and hung planters you planted strawberries in. An additional wall hook was drilled next to your front door with another planter for strawberries. Once the weather started to get colder you’d have to transfer them indoors, but for now they looked nice. 

You’d collected a good portion of stone and wood over the day, so you stored them away in a chest to the side of your home. They would all come in handy once the time came to upgrade your home. God you couldn't wait.

You were seated on your porch with a sewing kit, an old flannel and spare cloth, currently in the process of making a scarecrow. The barmaid Emily, who worked at the trawdrop saloon, was turning into a good friend. After exchanging numbers, she sent you a link to a pattern online outlining how to make one. 

Earlier that day you passed my the ranch below your farm in Cindersnap forest to get a bundle of hay to stuff it with. Marnie, the owner, was very excited to meet you. Lewis was there as well and you caught up with him on how the farm was progressing.

In passing you met her cousin Shane, charming fellow that one. Bluntly stated to leave him alone before making his exit to who knows were. Marnie said he was on his way to the saloon. She seemed troubled, but it wasn't your place to question it. 

Later tonight you planned on heading to the saloon again yourself for dinner. You’d certainly meet other residence of the town there too. Maybe you’d see him again and get off on a better note.99

As you continued to work, the sun dropped lower behind the horizon line and it got darker. It was still a nice temperature so you didn't want to go back inside. You stood up, opened the front door and flipped the switch for the porch light. It wasn’t the brightest, but still better than nothing. You sat down again and continued your work. 

About a half hour in, you began to hear rustling in the wooded area beyond what you cleared. You assumed it was only squirrels or birds; but after a moment your ears picked up on a hushed voice. You couldn't make out what was said but you looked up and examined the tree line. The grass was still tall and weeds running rampant between the trees, but if you focused your eyes enough, you could swear you saw a shock of blond hair poking over the top. 

You didn't particularly mind people coming to your farm, but you were pretty curious to see what this person wanted. And why they felt the need to hide in the wild grass. Did they know about the ticks? They would soon if they were unfortunate enough. 

You ignored them for the time being and continued working on your scarecrow. Whatever they wanted, you couldn't really bring yourself to care. You’re growing frustration at pricking your finger one too many times was coming close to making you give up for the night. You folded the cloth into a neet pile and pierced the needle through the middle and placed it to the side. 

You stood up and brushed your hands on the front of your overalls. Now standing, you got a better view of your visiter, or visitors. There seemed to be three. Two of which were whispering amongst themselves, the silent one looked over at you and locked eyes. He looked like a deer in headlights and ducked further down behold the grass in what looked to be the fetal position. 

 

~Joja Co. Everything Sucks~

 

There were many occasions in Sebastian’s life that go down in history as being down right mortifying. 

One was a time in middle school you had Sam over and got into a fight about crushes, and who had first dibs to ask her out. God you wish you weren’t one to cry when mad, but you are and it ended in your Mom coming downstairs to see what the commotion was about. You and Sam on opposite sides of the room, you crying and Sam angrily pouting in the corner, legs pulled up to his chest and arms crossed.

_     “Hey Sebby is everything-“ _

_     “MOM GET OUT!”  _

Dinner that night was very awkward. 

Another being in high school, Mom walked downstairs and promptly discovers her son might be a little bit gay when you had Sam's tongue down your throat.

You grew to hate your mom coming into your room after that. 

Then there was that time Abby scared you so bad you fell in the lake while reaching for a frog.

Or that time you tried jumping the old fence by the train tracks and getting your pants caught on a loose piece of wire. In the process you dropped your phone  _ just _ out of your reach so you couldn’t call Sam or Abby for help. You hung there for almost an hour before Demetrius came along and found you. 

Today felt like one of those times. Not thirty feet away from you was, perhaps, a very attractive newcomer. Said newcomer was, at the time, seemingly preoccupied with sewing god knows what together. 

Your friends were bickering over whether the farmer was gay, possibly bisexual or what-

“Abby, I’m telling you, he’s practically radiating big gay energy-“

“And I’m telling you, Sam-“

You stopped paying attention to the conversation the second the farmer stood up and locked eyes with you. 

Well shit.

If the sudden heat in your face wasn’t a big enough indication, you would have denied having been blushed profusely. 

Out of any of them that could have been seen, how the fuck was it you he caught first? You were the only one  _ not _ making noise! God you wanted to curl up and die, halfway there actually, now to just wait patiently for death. Sweet, sweet death.

When you finally looked back up, it was at the sound of a door opening and closing. 

Wait.

Wait.

Wait..

He sees strangers on his property, and promptly does nothing? 

“Guys, we need to leave-“ you turn back to the two still bickering, and shove Sam into Abby when neither of them paid mind to anything you just said, “Guys seriously  _ we need to leave. _ ”

They both looked back to you, then over to the farmers house and back, “He saw us.” they both looked different degrees of distressed.

Sam made a face, same one when Mom caught us in high school, unfocused but also like he wanted to crawl under a rock. Abby looked equal parts confused but also calculating. 

“He already saw us,” she started, “so you think making a break for it towards the back road to your place would be a good idea?” Before you could even respond Sam made a break for it like a shadow brute was on his tail, only briefly losing balance mid run when he nearly knocked his head off a low tree branch.

Two seconds later Abby booked it as well, with considerably more skill as she parcored over a huge boulder and swung from a tree branch over a pile of rocks. 

You shook your head in disbelief before finally running after them. Instead of blindly running, or pulling stunts, you did the logical thing and ran around the obstacles in your way.

“I can not  _ fucking _ believe you two!” You shouted at them once catching up with them a good distance down the road. Abby was cackling, and Sam was sprawled out on the ground, both winded and laughing along. 

“Do you-“ Sam was all but wheezing, “Do you think he heard me say he had big gay energy?”

Abby snorted and fell against a fence post, “Oh my god- BIG GAY ENERGY-“

“Guys!!” You threw your hands up, “We just got caught trespassing and staring at him! He probably things were fucking creeps!” 

“BIG GAY ENERGY!” They both wheezed out between fits of laughter. 

You fell into the fetal position, burying your face in your hands, trying to collect yourself. After a moment, you pulled your cigarettes out of your hoodie pocket and lit one. Breathing in the smoke and holding it for a second, before letting it out. You relaxed for a second, collecting your thoughts as your friends continued to lose their shit over big gay energy.

Ok.

You stood back up, fixing a stern glare at the two of them. Their laughter died out and a silence fell between you. 

“Yeah this is gonna be awkward isn’t it?” Abby finally said.

“You don’t fucking say?” You responded sarcastically.

“I think I hit my head on a tree branch?” Sam added. You both fix your eyes on him, and sure enough a small trail of blood was dripping from his hairline.

“Oh my god.”

That night ended with an impromptu visit to Harvey’s clinic. Sam ended up getting 2 stitches to a cut on his four head.

 

~Joja Co. Everything Sucks~

 

The next morning, or mid day in Sebastian’s case, Sebastian came across Charlie again. All in the glory of his frog print pajama pants, and a baggy T-shirt with Ted Cruz and the text ‘this man ate my father’. Maru got the shirt for you last year for your birthday. Relations starting out with her where very strained, but over the years you’ve gotten a bit closer. 

You were climbing up the steps from the basement, on your way to get coffee from the kitchen before taking a shower and starting with your morning. Passing by the entryway of your mothers shop, you saw him talking with her and examining blue prints. Your mom looked up first, followed by him, and they both looked at you for a second. 

“Good morning sweetie!” Robin called over to you, giving him a little wave. Charlie just fixed you with a blank stare, eyes looking at your attire then back at your face. You could almost make out a look of amusement, but it was all so subtle that you couldn’t say for sure. 

You booked it past the entryway and down the hall. 

Why did the world have to punish him like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone interested in seeing illustrations of my farmer? Also I was gonna do another diagram of the garden layout but got kinda lazy.   
> :/
> 
> Anyways I hope you all like it so far!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all like it so far! first chapter is just kind of a set up, next chapter we'll introduce the towns folk!
> 
> Who could possibly be exploring the wooded overgrown disaster that is Teakettler Farm?


End file.
